The Road to Recovery

Long Over Due Update 9-2-10

2010-09-02T18:59:00.000-07:00

Wahoe! I'm back in Utah and have my life back. I am about 6 weeks post- op. I am going to physical therapy at Tosh in Sandy, Ut. I like the facility and especially like the athletic trainer. He is helping me to keep my knee over my foot so that my knee doesn't cave in, making me more prone to re- injuring my knee. I did the stationary bike the other day for 50 minutes. It felt so good! The only thing I'm having a problem with still is stairs and uneven ground. I can't wait for a time when the word stairs have no significance whatsoever in my daily life. My physical therapist said I only had to come in once a week from now on. I remember from my first surgery I was still going 2-3 times a month for the first 3 months. So I decided I still want to go 2 times a week because I learn so much about my knee and soak up so much knowledge when I'm at rehab. I'm diligent enough to make it to the gym and do some therapy by myself but I still feel like I get more out of my gym time when I'm with my physical therapist. OH! and how could I forget. I have full range of motion! *smiles*

well that was dumb... 8/10/10

2010-08-10T15:22:00.000-07:00

After less than 3 weeks after surgery a once in a lifetime opportunity arose... going to a Yankees Redsox game at the new Yankee stadium. Being able to sit comfortably and hobble around with a limp, or swagger as I like to call it... was good enough in my mind to go be able to attend the game.

But how naive of me to think there wouldn't be rushing mobs of excited half drunk New York fans not paying attention to where they were going or little old me. When we finally made it to the seats, we literally couldn't sit in them because the navy blue leather in 100 degree heat made it too hot for the seats to even touch. We chilled off by downing 2 yards of frozen margaritas and daiquiris (our drinks were in the huge plastic containers most commonly found in Vegas or Cancun). The heat was so unbearable that with a messed up knee I was willing to stand for the rest of the game under the shade structure. We stood and stood some more until an usher was kind enough to sneak us into new seats that fell under the shade, which completely made our day. My knee felt like it was on fire. All I could think about was sitting in a bath filled with ice and water. The Yankees lost 2-1.

It wasn't the ideal conditions to enjoy a baseball game... but I DID survive and did have fun. I was a little mad at myself for being in denial about my injury. I'm still hurt and still have to hold myself back from doing everything I want.

Physical therapy was good today after not going for 4 days. Bill got the extention in my knee to be only about an inch and a half from my heel to my butt. But it's still extremely painful when he pushes my knee beyond its moving point and beyond my paid threshold. The thing I am working on now is walking without a limp. It's especially hard in the morning because my knee gets extremely stiff. I'm going back to Utah in 2 weeks so I'm going to have to look into good physical therapy out there.

2 weeks post- op 8/5/10

2010-08-05T16:02:00.000-07:00

Stitches out. Off crutches. No more need for my brace!

It's hard to believe only two weeks have gone by. It feels like it should be longer than that, but being stricken with boredom will do that I guess.

all dressed up... looking like frankenstein

the forever familiar exam bed

lifts with Bill

Road the stationary bike for the first time on Tuesday.

30 degree mellow leg press

re- learning how to walk. not quite there yet without a limp.

leg lifts, mellow weight. works the quad/hammy.

Getting the stitches out! haha. pretty gross. I felt a sharp sting when they were getting removed, so happy to have them out!

some jewelry I made in the down time. hippy stuff.

good good good 8-1-10

2010-08-01T21:38:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor and had the scope stitches removed. He said that my progress has been exceptional and I'm a head of how most people are about a week out of surgery considering:
- how straight my leg is
- how I'm already able to do leg lifts and control my leg coming back down from the lift
- how I don't need the CPM machine anymore because I'm way beyond 100 degrees with my extension.
So I was very happy!
He said it has a lot to do with how strong I was coming into surgery. The injury had time to heal, my knee had 100% motion and wasn't swollen. He said that my old ACL absorbed into my body when he went in with the scope to remove it there was nothing there! This apparently takes a long time, meaning that my ACL was gone for a long time before I got surgery.(*remember I can't actually pin point a time when I tore my ACL).

I've also been able to walk around without crutches, but my physical therapist didn't actually clear me to do that. I went to a dinner party for my dad and was able to sit down for a pretty long time somewhat comfortably. Today my friend Heidi took me to a movie (thanks Heid!). My knee felt a lot of soreness but I have come to the conclusion it's a feeling that I am going to have to get used to. It felt good to get out of the house 2 days in row.

I hate my huge knee brace and haven't used it around the house since the 4th day post surgery. I don't like it mostly because it's heavy and puts added weight that my leg needs to lug around. I wear it when I leave the house but I don't think it serves any purpose while I'm inside.

I can't wait to get all the stitches out of my knee so I will be comfortable falling asleep in another position besides laying on my back.

My knee never really did bruise that badly. I thought there was going to be more bruising. I make it a point to ice my knee a few hours a day-- ice ice baby. I'm still taking the ibuprophen 600mg about 3 or 4 times a day. It will be a good day when I don't need those at all anymore.

I'm excited for physical therapy on Tuesday. I think I will be able to get on the stationary bike!

one step at a time 7-28-10

2010-07-28T14:13:00.000-07:00

I didn't even have a chance to hold them back.

As my physical therapist bent my leg backwards beyond my pain threshold the tears immediately came pouring out. This sudden jarring pain was a quick reminder that I still have a long way to go. Not that I ever really forgot.

Physical therapy is short, painful and uncomfortable. I also never feel like I'm doing enough exercises when I'm in there, but the ones I do hurt so bad I guess there's not much more I can do. I've only been to two sessions. Like I said it's going to be a long process.

On a positive note it's getting easier to move around the house. I can put myself to bed at night and am comfortable putting my leg in a position laying down where I don't have to be on my back all the time. It's hard for me to sleep at night because I don't do anything during the day to make myself tired!

I was surprised initially that my knee didn't have much bruising, but it seems like all the internal bruising is finally coming to the surface. My knee is also completely numb on both sides. I still after 6 years haven't fully regained the normal feeling in my left knee from the nerve damage so I'm expecting the feeling to take a while to come back. If I have an itch and I scratch my knee I can't feel anything, so how will the itch ever go away? haha.

that that does not kill you.. 4-25-10

2010-07-25T22:35:00.000-07:00

So basically I'm really attractive right now. I haven't showered in 4 days. I have a metal brace on my leg from hip to ankle and I'm pretty sure I smell like throwup, seeing how I that's what I did this morning. An incredible pain in my stomach woke me from my slumber in the middle of the night. I thought it was weird to be having pain somehwere else besides my knee. It turns out my body reacted negativly to the oxycotin pain killers. The pain killers were doing a fine job of numbing the pain but did something absolutely absurd to my stomach. I can handle some knee discomfort but what I was feeling in the morning is something I can't handle. So starting today I went cold turkey on them and have only been taking ibuprofen and icing. That that does not kill you will only make you stronger. I'm getting around really well and tonight was the first night I could sit and eat dinner at the dinner table. Tomorrow I have my first physical therapy session and I feel like I'm a little a head of the game compared to my last acl surgery... so we'll see where I'm really at.

baby steps 7-24-10

2010-07-24T21:12:00.000-07:00

- Mornings are the hardest. the pain is the worse when I get up. but eases up once I get out of bed/ take a pain killer.
- I feel bad. I wake my mom up in the middle of the night at like 3 a.m. because the ice in the ice cooler that is connected to my leg melts and my knee starts feeling like it is on fire.
- t.v. sucks pretty bad. time to read a book tomorrow.
- I still haven't showered yet :)
- I had 3 friends come over which was nice but a little exhausting. the pain killers make me really tired and i have to fight off the drowsy feeling and be social. but it was SO good to have people come over. (thanks Matt, Steph, TG !!)
- I still have no appetite but am eating more substantial stuff.
- I'm always really cold, I think because of the cooling pack that's always on my leg
- last night i couldn't sleep because I kept having involuntary twitches in my bad leg that would be painful and wake me up. I think I got a head of myself by sleeping without the brace on. After I put the brace back on it felt a lot better and I fell a sleep.
- I raised my leg today and got to 65 degrees on the CMP!!! = progress

follow up with surgeon 7-23-10

2010-07-23T19:56:00.000-07:00

me the day after surgery

about to unveil the mess under the bandage...

That would be the front of my knee even though it looks like the back

knee from my point of view

Dr. Thrower putting my knee brace back on

The follow up with the surgeon went good. He asked me if I could compare this time to the last knee surgery and I said I thought this one was a little bit easier. I guess I'm a pro at this stuff now or something. I seem to be moving around a lot better on my own and didn't need assistance getting to the bathroom today which was a - big accomplishment- if you can imagine. The CPM machine broke on me today, so they had to bring a new one. I think the big difference between how I'm dealing with this surgery compared to the last one is that I'm not so scared of every little movment that I make. I talked with my physical therapist and he game me some exercises and have my first offical session on Monday.

One thing I suggest to anyone who is about to get knee surgery is to get an i-pad. It's a fun toy when television gets old quick. Also be prepared with lots of ice. The ice machine that is hooked up to my leg goes through a bag a day.

- The pain killers have killed my appetite.
- My stitches are itchy and I want to scratch them off.
- I'm up to 55 degrees on the CPM machine
- I haven't showered in 3 days now.

day after surgery 9-22-10

2010-07-22T18:53:00.000-07:00

My knee is covered in like 500 layers of bandage and warped in a brace. It's hard to beleive there is a leg under all of it. I can feel the atrophy setting in, but for the day after surgery I am doing quite well.

- I started the CMP (continuous passive movement) machine that I place my leg in and the machine at a slow pace bends my knee for me. I went up to 45 degrees today, and will add 10 degrees every day from now on.

- I could bare minimal weight with cruches on my bad leg.

I couldn't sleep that well last night. For some reason every time I was about to doze off I frantically woke up thinking I was about to fall asleep in a bad position for my knee. I got up at 7 a.m. and took an oxycotin. It was recommened I take pain killers every four hours but I didn't need to take another pain killer until abour 4 p.m. The CPM machine felt good this morning/afternoon and I did it for about 5 hours at the 45 degree angle. But tonight when I wanted to do the last hour of my treatment my knee would feel so stiff and hurt so bad when it would reach the top of the angle on the machine. I should have taken another pain killer earlier, now I know better.

Tomorrow I am meeting with the surgeon and getting the bandages unwrapped. After my surgery he said I had "wear and tear" in my knee. He didn't go into much detail as I'm sure he didn't want to bum me out right after surgery so I am interested in seeing what that ment and what that means for my recovery. I am also hoping that everything else checks out the way it should.

CPM machine

Day of surgery 7-21-10

2010-07-21T17:01:00.000-07:00

I survived surgery and everything went well. Dr. Thrower said he fixed up my medial and lateral meniscus, which had small tears by snipping out the parts.. and of course he fixed the Acl. He said my Acl has been torn for months. This makes me think that I skied the whole season with a blown knee without knowing it.

They did a nerve block on my leg so I wouldn't feel pain but I don't think the guy nailed it because you aren't supposed to feel anything after surgery and i felt pain. I remember from the last one that I didn't feel anything the first day except numbness. But either way the pain killers they gave me are doing the trick and im not really in too much pain at all. I have a pretty bad sore throat for some reason. Ive been sleeping all day and listening to music, and finally got up around 7p.m. To watch some t.v. And type this. I got back from the hospital at 10 a.m. I think. Dr. Thrower and all the nurses were nice and that made the experience good. My mom has been very helpful since then on. I have no appetite. I've eaten crackers and a fruit smoothies today but I just can't even think about eating anything more substantial. I'm so happy surgery went good, and can't wait to get better day by day.

night before surgery-- 7-20-10

2010-07-20T19:25:00.000-07:00

This week has been the most bitter sweet week ever. I went to the beach 3 times and swam in the ocean for hours on end and also went to a Yankees game. I got to do some things I enjoy and felt healthy doing it. My knee didn't bug me at all during these activities. But in the back of my head was an unsettling thought about how I will feel after the surgery, basically having to teach myself how to walk again. There were a few times during the week where I seriously questioned WHY I am even going through with surgery. I also have been really frustrated wishing I could have gotten the surgery over with already.

So tomorrow is my surgery. I'm anxious, a little scared. I'm prepared for the pain as much as you can be. I never forgot the pain I had after my first ACL surgery but I'm ready to just get the surgery over and start from scratch. I tried researching good physical therapy places near me because my biggest fear is that the physical therapist won't understand my athletic goals and not push me hard enough. It's also going to be hard for me hold myself back from pushing too hard and hurting myself more. I remember from the first time around how hard it was to distinguish between "good pain" and "bad pain." Good pain being pain that will progress me and bad pain being pain I push through that will cause set backs. I hope everything works out so I can be on my way to being happy again, kind of like I was all week, but without the unsettling feeling lingering in the back of my head.

me tomorrow at 6.30 a.m.

Video of Allograft Surgery

2010-07-20T12:11:00.000-07:00

Meeting with the Surgeon 7-12-10

2010-07-20T11:58:00.000-07:00

I flew back to NJ to meet and go over the m.r.i. with my surgeon, Dr. Thrower out of Westfeild, NJ. I felt most comfortable with him because he did surgery on my first knee and about six years later I have virtually no problems with this knee (pretty much after the first year I didn't have much pain anymore.)

Dr. Thrower looked at my m.r.i. and saw no apparent damage to my PCL or lateral meniscus. This was good news because Dr. S in Salt Lake said I had really messed those up.

He also said that meniscus repairs happen during ACL surgery. So Dr. S's suggestion of getting meniscus now and then waiting for the ACL later was out of the question.

Despite not wanting to get surgery after lots of thought, I came to the conclusion it would be better to get the surgery as soon as possible. My plan is to do the first 2 months on rehab in New Jersey where my parents can help me and drive me (it's my right knee) and then when I'm on my feet I can return to Salt Lake and finish my rehab there. Dr. Thrower set my surgery date for July 21, 2010.

Next I had to decide if I wanted an autograft (patella tendon) or an allograft (cadaver graft). It was very appealing for me to get a cadaver graft because they are supposed to be less painful, and you are up an moving and feeling better initially. Also it leaves less scars and you aren't in surgery for as long. The negative about it is that the graft isn't as strong as the patella. After lots of research online and my doctors recommendation I will be getting the patella tendon graft as my new ACL. Dr. Thrower said for my level of activity I should get it. The cadaver grafts work really well for less active and older people. But with my age, and freestyle skiing the patella tendon is the best option for me. Sa la vee knee without scars.

Follow up with the Orthopedic Doc 6-30-10

2010-07-20T11:12:00.000-07:00

I had a follow up with my orthopedic doctor today. She said that she would recommend I get surgery on my meniscus now and if I want I can wait for surgery on my ACL. She said in most cases they don't do surgery right away on the ACL and rehab it first and see how it does. I plan on getting the ACL surgery done next spring.

This is a huge burden off my back because now I don't need to completely move home to New Jersey and put all my stuff in storage and move back to Salt Lake (or somewhere else) with no where to live and no job. The recovery time for meniscus is 4-6 weeks where as an ACL is 6-9 months. Luckily summer is pretty dead for sports reporting and I'm going to write a profile piece and another fitness story before I head home and then come back in time for high school fall sports. And I will be good to go for ski season with a knee brace and all. Of course I'm going to have to tone it down a bit but I'm just super happy I don't have to give up a year of coaching.

I saw the mri of my knee and it's pretty ugly. I don't know how I did this to myself. I also never thought I had a high threshold for pain but apparently I do. My knee would bug me but I have never cried about it or let it stop me from doing what I want to do. I really hope they can fix my meniscus and don't just snip away all the frayed pieces.

My doc told me knees are funny because some housewives fall off their 4- wheelers and blow their knee out and can't make it across the room without their knee giving out. I'm the other side of the spectrum, where my knee probably tore gradually and because I'm so strong I had no idea. Either way I am grateful for modern day technology and know that if I've been doing everything with a blown knee, once it is fixed and rehabbed it will make that much more of a difference.

So I have a blow knee 6-27-10

2010-07-20T11:05:00.001-07:00

I’ve been working out 5-6 times a week and even dabbled with the thought of doing a triathlon at the end of this summer. I’m not in the best shape of my life, but pretty darn good shape because of mountain biking, spin class and using my road bike to get everywhere, plus swimming, pilaties, hitting the gym for cardio/weights and other group fitness classes. So when I got a voice mail from my doctor at 8 a.m. last Wednesday to call her as soon as possible, the last thing I was expecting to hear was “Hey Rebecca. The knee is a lot worse than we thought”....torn ACL, partially torn PCL, lateral meniscus tear, medial meniscal tear and root tear. I’m still in denial thinking maybe somehow that she read the m.r.i. wrong. The only reason I went to get an m.r.i. in the first place was because when I would play soccer (I played in 3 games this summer) it would give out when I shot the ball and land on my shooting foot or if I make a quick move I felt limited. I wanted to jump at the Olympic Park water ramps this summer because I’ve never had that opportunity and thought it would be a good idea to get a brace. I just figured I had a messed up meniscus because my knee has been making popping clicking noises for a few years. The recovery for that is about 6 weeks so I wanted to get it fixed and get jumping and training for skiing.

I tore my left ACL with minimal cartilage damage when I was 18, more than seven years ago. When this happened my knee swelled up like a balloon, I couldn't bare weight on it, it felt so completely unstable and I would get intense “waves” of pain shooting through the knee in addition to a steady uncomfortable pain directly in the back of my knee. Also a looseness and a feeling of something missing.

I cannot recall anything close to this happening to my right knee. I don’t know when I could have done this, of course it was skiing, and I have a few ideas when it could have been, but I will never really know so I’ve stopped thinking about it. Today I even ran about 3 miles and I had no pain or post work out swelling.

My mind has been absolutely tormented with what I should do. I have a follow up with the orthopedic in two days to figure out what my options are, if I have any. My x-rays showed that I had abnormal space in my knee for someone my age which concerned my doctor before I got the m.r.i. If I do undergo surgery, which is not really a matter of “if” but more “when,” it will be in New Jersey so I can be with my parents and go to the doctor that did my first knee. It's more confusing to me where I should go and what I should do after rehab, but I guess I don't need to worry about that quite yet.

It’s been really difficult for me to deal with finding out this information for a lot of reasons. For athletes that have undergone ACL surgery, like myself, they know the absolute pain that one endures during rehab, and what a long uneasy process it winds up being. Also the dedication, absolute obsession and hard work that one must devote to their knee. Once simple things such as walking or lifting your knee become things you need to re-learn.

Being active is the main thing that makes me happy in life and to comprehend not being able to be active (let alone go skiing for the greater part of next season) for a long time is very unsettling. I also feel like I have to give up a lot of things I’ve worked really hard for like being a ski coach and even bigger than that my LIFE the way it is. It would be very hard to live in Utah without working at the bar and as a ski coach- which are my main incomes and also without being able to ski or be active, which are all dependent on my knee. There's no guarantee I will be able to pick up where I left off, writing for the Tribune either.

I have a lot on my plate. I also got food poisoning, in a car accident and had my car broken into this week before I found out about my knee so I've been hit with a lot. I feel like God pulled the emergency break on my life.... I'm praying for his guidance.